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Light In The Dark (05/12/2020)
Sometimes people are under the impression that suicide means freedom from worry, but it is an assumption to think that death is necessarily synonymous with peace. In actuality, it is the action of embracing life that is synonymous with peace. We are not intended to live just to die.
Further, truly living is distinct from merely surviving. One can be "alive" bodily, but be throughly "dead" emotionally, wandering about without purpose and stuck in a depression that clouds their judgment, especially about those things of which it is important to express gratitude for.
Therefore, when faced with depression, it is important to always seek out reasons to be happy, however small they may seem to be (e.g.: I am thankful that I have the ability to breathe in this moment). Then, we can align our purpose with furthering these reasons for both ourselves and others.
If we spread joy, then the misery of everyone is transformed. But if we are often complaining (and continue to do so under the guise of "venting" a "righteous anger" or being "realistic"), then we only create heavier burdens for ourselves and drive away the good around us. It may seem like a "catch-22" to people who are depressed because they are lonely that people who are happy do not want to be near those who are constantly depressed.
In this way, "like attracts like". We must become the things that we want. Tools like affirmations are not meant to be used to convince ourselves of the truth of some desire, but as statements of intent. We accept them as true and trust that those things are already here and now, not holding them off in a perpetual future by saying things like "I want to be...". I accept whatever is before me and choose to fully transform it into the constructiveness that is inherent to it.
• Hongjun Lyu - The Legend Of The Dragon
I had an interesting dialogue about this post (on 8/19/2020) that might be helpful to others...
I really love both the contents and aesthetic of your site! May I also join the Mental Heal Circle?
Thank you kindly! I've had a look at your site but I came across a post I felt it would be best to ask for clarification about. It's an entry about depression (05/12/20) and I'm not quite sure what you were trying to convey. I conferred with a friend who deals with the illness who found it condescending and felt that the wording implied the illness being the fault of the individual.
The post also talks about finding reasons to be happy, which sounds like it may refer to gratitude interventions. A meta-analysis of 27 other studies (https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10902-020-00236-6) found these to have only small effects and the authors recommended that individuals instead seek interventions shown to be effective, such as CBT.
The part about the study is only for your information, but I do find it troubling to add a site if content on the site will upset people and make them feel blamed for their illness. Would you mind explaining your intent with the post and where your site stands in regard to the question of blame?
Sure! I would be happy to.
The purpose of the blog was merely to commit some personal thoughts to writing. In times that I have been deeply depressed, "gratitude interventions" have been helpful to me. [Thank you for pointing out that term and study by the way. I really appreciate it.]
However, I also acknowledge that there are many reasons why one might be dealing with depression and varying degrees to which they might be depressed. It wasn't my intention to blame anyone for factors that are outside of their personal control. And further, I encourage others to get outside help from caring and highly trained professionals when they need it.
At the same time, again speaking only for myself, I noticed that I often contributed to my own sadness throughout life by dwelling upon those feelings instead of working through their root cause. It became a chain of constantly focusing on what was going "wrong" in life instead of what was going "right". In short, I had a lot to be grateful for, and when I started to approach life through that understanding I could begin to see a glimmer of light in what seemed like a perpetually dark night, hence the name of the post.
I really do feel for your friend, and I am sorry if my words were a trigger for them. I will sincerely try to be more considerate of my wording and I thank them for the feedback. I think it is important to speak openly about these kinds of topics without any shame so that we can all help each other. I know that I don't have all of the "answers", which is why I am so interested in learning together.