Let's Learn Together - When Caring Is Not Enough by Augsburger

	Full Title:	When Caring Is Not Enough Resolving Conflicts Through Fair Fighting
Author(s):	David Augsburger
Publishing / Edition:	Regal Books, 1983

Day	Issue	Foul	Fair	Page #
1	Timing	Catch them off guard	Take time to set a time	36
2	Turf	Pick your best turf	Choose neutral turf	40
3	Atmosphere	Step up the anxiety	Set a caring atmosphere	45
4	Yielding	Be nice, be sweet, be yielding	Be genuine, honest, real	49
5	Fogging	Filibuster, fog, fume	Seek equal communications	53
6	Mystifying	Ramble, chain react, mystify	Seek mutual participation	58
7	Generalizing	Generalize, universalize, exaggerate	Focus, center, simplify	62
8	Analyzing	Analyze, intellectualize, advise	Own my part in our pain	67
9	Binding	Activate ambivalences	One side at a time	71
10	Gunnysacking	Gunnysack grievances	Deal with here and now	75
11	Neutrality	Be silent, superior, neutral	Be open, present, available	80
12	Angering	Hide anger-ventilate rage	Own anger clearly	85
13	Rumoring	Play detective	Refuse hearsay	90
14	Blaming	Blaming and shaming	Affirming responsibility	94
15	Who's Right	Find who's right	Find what's right	99
16	Walking out	Walk out, clam up, shut off	Work through to break through	103
17	Joking	Use sarcasm	Delight in humor	108
18	Questioning	Use clever questions	Make clear statements	113
19	Triangling	Pit people against people	Deal only firsthand	117
20	Undermining	Undermine self-esteem	Enrich self-esteem	122
21	Martyrdom	Be a martyr (or saint)	Be equal, mutual	127
22	Controlling	Threatening, binding, manipulating	Freeing	131
23	Delaying	Ignore, forget, postpone	Contract, commit, covenant	136
24	Mind Reading	Mind read, mind rape	Listen, wait, learn	141
25	Downers	Downers and put-downs	Uppers and levelers	146
26	Suspecting	Be jealous, be possessive	Love sets free	151
27	Projecting	"You" messages expose you	"I" messages reveal me	156
28	Disarming	Going for the kill	Honoring the belt line	160
29	Guarding	Demand guarantees	Forego, forgive, forget	164
30	Perfection	Fight perfectly	Fight creatively	169