Let's Learn Together - The Intimate Enemy by Bach

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	Full Title:	The Intimate Enemy How to Fight Fair in Love and Marriage
	Author(s):	Dr. George R. Bach; Peter Wyden
	Publishing / Edition:	Avon Books, 1968

Click here for the Table of Contents of the book

Chapter 1.

Avoiding "kitchen sink" (or "Virginia Woolf") fights
When couples hide grievances by "gunnysacking"
Intimate hostilities can be "programmed"
What couples miss when they don't fight
Why fighting is inevitable between true intimates
Why people "play games" - and what to do instead

Chapter 2.

Why intimacy must be learned
Intimacy and sex are not necessarily synonymous
Fighting to "keep your distance" from the partner
What makes "loners" unhappy

Chapter 3.

Chapter 4.

Breaking up repetitive "Round Robin" fights
Neutralizing "Vesuvius" temper outbursts
How to level with an intimate
Why "winning" may be more costly than "losing"
First demonstration: Getting results by applying the fight rules

Chapter 5.

Making a fight appointment
Fighting before witnesses
How drinking affects fighting
Best places for fighting
Reforming a partner "for his own good"

Chapter 6.

Finding the fair belt-line
What to do about the partner's Achilles' heel
Equalizing the fight weapons and "weights"
Why people can't remember what they fought about

Chapter 7.

Tears as a female fight weapon
What men substitute for tears

Chapter 8.

Getting out of the dog house
Five-warming-up exercises before fighting
Seven exercises for the "Heat-of-Battle"
Five exercises to deal with a fight's outcome

Chapter 9.

103

Spouse-watchers, privacy-invaders, and spouse-probers
Mutual character assassination
Stereotyping a partner
Letting down a partner's expectations
Crisis-makers and disorder-makers
Stabbing a partner's Achilles' heel

Chapter 10.

114

Why "civilized" partners resort to force
Five questions for mate-beaters

Chapter 11.

122

When intimates withhold information
Common communications "statics"
Eight fundamentals of clear communications
Exploring the partner's innermost feelings
Danger time: communicating when a husband comes home
Finding out whether the partner "really means it"
Foiling the fine art of "bugging"
Five exercises to improve intimate communications

Chapter 12.

140

How distance distorts communications
How the telephone can help partners to level

Chapter 13.

142

Transforming a monologuer into a dialoguer
Calming down a "Rageolic"
Guarding against "Intimate Ambush" and "Hit-and-Run" attacks
Setting up the partner for a "kill"
Turning the victim into a cooperative patsy
Eleven ways collusion leads to crisis
When third parties become meddlers
How satanic fighters operate
Strategies of crazy-makers
How to disarm satans
Seven tips for marital self-defense

Chapter 14.

159

Nine fight characteristics and how to score them
Twelve fight results and how to score them

Chapter 15.

183

Four reasons why mates stop listening to each other
Three reasons why mates fight so hard over "trivia"
De-coding a "trivial" fight
Furniture fights, "nesting" fights and car fights
Fighting for fun

Chapter 16.

194

What goes wrong in dating-mating fights
Why people fear "falling" in love
Fighting to be first in someone's heart
Pre-wedding fights

Chapter 17.

211

Fitting two love styles to one another
Seven ways to build a joint partnership image
When one partner says, "I'm outgrowing you!"

Chapter 18.

234

Using sex as a strategic weapon
Seven myths about conjugal sex
Using sex for blackmail
Is variety the spice of sex?
Must mates be equally eager for sex?
How the myth of simultaneous orgasm triggers fights
Fighting for good sex-fit

Chapter 19.

246

Suppose she's "just tired"
Creative snuggling
"I always have to start it"
When a mate is too meek or too rough
When "No" means "Yes"
Contraceptive fights
Orgasm-faking
Insurance against monotony
Sex beyond the bedroom

Chapter 20.

263

Five sexual styles of modern marriage
The double standard in reverse
Is silence deception - or is it tact?
How sex loyalist get even with their straying mates
Masturbation in marriage: infidelity by fantasy
Colluding with a partner's infidelity

Chapter 21.

275

Teaching aggression-control to children
How over-protection inhibits child development
How children become deceptive fighters
Ten uses of children in parental fights
Using children as an excuse to avoid sex
Why children should witness fair adult fighting
How to fight with a baby
Fighting about "chores"

Chapter 22.

293

When is rule-making really "for their own good"?
When a child's "Yes" means "No"
Guilt-producing strategies of children
How to manage generation-gap fights
Saying "No" with love
Giving a child a chance to "win"
Five tips to reduce needless fights with children

Chapter 23.

308

When the family picks a scapegoat
Fighting about "Who is boss?"
Fighting for privacy in the family
Why vacations are dangerous
Fighting with in-laws
The senior generation gap: fighting with grandparents

Chapter 24.

319

How to prevent temporary exits ("I'm leaving!")
Packing your "ready exit kit"
Why bankrupt marriages endure

Chapter 25.

324

Fight trainees who are least likely to succeed
Four tips for making intimate living work
Seven payoffs of intimacy

329

364

370

Content Review

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