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Self-Defense
Content Warning: While we will attempt to approach it with consideration, this article will speak plainly about subjects like violence, sexual assault, murder, and death.
Introduction
"Self-defense", as the term implies, is the protective use of force. It is NOT initiating an attack or attempting to provoke others into attacking us, no matter how "strong" that we think we are. No one is ever justified in acting like a bully. Even in a "legal"-sense, there is often a huge difference between acts of "aggression" and acts of "self-defense".
Therefore, it is always best to avoid a fight whenever possible. But what do we do if we are unable to escape an unprovoked attack? For example, we might be stuck within an enclosed space, we may be incapable of running away or have to protect someone who cannot run away, and so on.
Much like basic "first aid", understanding some basic self-defense can save a life in the unfortunate event that we have to apply that knowledge. It is important to keep in mind that not all "martial arts" systems are useful for self-defense. Many are taught like a competitive sport and do not take into account the realities of a street fight. So, please be careful with how you try to defend yourself. Some advice may just end up getting you killed.
Here, we will cover some general ideas about self-defense. It is a bit repetitive, but this is done with the intention of emphasizing important points. Please consider all of it carefully. There are a lot of reference and demonstration links. Not every link is necessarily an endorsement, but offers something useful to think about in my opinion.
A Mindset Focused on Safety and Peace
Self-defense begins long before we encounter any sort of fight. It starts with an understanding of how we perceive what is going on around us and within us moment-by-moment. In her article Situational Awareness: A Key to Your Safety, the self-defense instructor Avital Zeisler gives a lot of immediately practical advice:
In simple terms, Situational Awareness is being more aware of your surroundings. The real question is, can you develop a sixth sense for danger, while still being able to enjoy each and every moment? This was my personal struggle when I was learning self-defense and when I learned how to bring a workable sense of awareness into my daily routine, I began sharing it with my students. Try these simple drills to increase your sense of situational awareness when you are out in public. It feels great to know that you can become your own personal security agent.
The next time you step into a coffee shop, transit area or busy commercial building, try to do these simple drills to sharpen your awareness tactics:
1. Peripheral Vision. For the most part, people use direct vision, but it is our peripheral vision that must be used when out in public. Without insulting your friend, attempt to have a conversation and observe what is happening around them, while still maintaining your focus point and listening to what they are saying. Learning this simple tactic, allows you to monitor a wider degree of space and detect something suspicious, leading us to our next point.
2. The Automatic Scan. I call this the automatic scan because we do it naturally everywhere we go. The question is, are we focused on the right thing? Next place you go forget about focusing on things that don't have to do with your personal safety and pay attention to the following:
• Exits: Where are my exits and how accessible are they?
• Barriers: For the good and for the bad. Barriers can get in your way but they can also be used to keep someone away. Find your barriers and see how you could avoid them to reach an exit point, or how you would use them to keep a potential threat on the other side.
• Suspicious Objects: If something doesn't look right, like an unattended bag, immediately notify a worker of the space you are in.
• Suspicious People: This is an obvious one. If someone is suspicious take action to notify others and remove yourself from his or her direct path.
3. Watch Your Back. Instead of looking over your shoulder, place your back against a surface if possible to remove the possibility of someone getting behind you or in your blind spot. This is a great tactic when you are in a crowded area and cannot see everything (e.g. the drunk guy at a party, or a pushing crowd in the subway). In the next crowd you are in, try to identify strategic surfaces that you could stand in front of or lean against.
4. Make Reflective Surfaces Your Ally. Reflective surfaces can work to your advantage because they can reveal what is going on either behind you or somewhere outside of your peripheral vision. For example, the next time you walk down a commercial street, use the display windows to help you see behind you.
5. Stop and Pretend. If you feel someone is following you, I always tell my students to do the classic stop, turn and pretend like you went the wrong way. Let the suspicious person pass you, and if he doesn't or reroutes to follow you, you can now confirm that you might have a potential attacker. Please note that this also applies to safety driving tactics of letting a car pass you if you feel you are being followed.
6. Become a Hard Target. Maintaining an appearance of confidence in your manner is very important to how vulnerable you appear to a potential attacker. But further to this, if you come across as very aware of your surroundings -- people, physical locations and interpersonal interactions -- then you become much less prone to being taken by surprise of any type of attack or threat of violence.
7. Your Invisible Circles. We all have a sense of our personal boundaries of space or the distance we naturally keep when standing near strangers (just pay attention next time you enter an elevator and watch everyone gravitate to the furthest corners). When someone invades your personal space you should be aware of several things.
• Look at their hands. Are they holding a weapon or showing any intent of causing harm?
• Look for any bulges. Are there any bulges coming from their clothes that could indicate a weapon?
• Overall, are they demonstrating verbal aggression or body language?
For all of the above, immediately increase the distance between yourself and this person. Generally, a five to six-foot distance allows you time to react and assess the situation for any further action on your part.
8. Visualization. Practice safety by using visualization to assess a threatening situation and determine your actions. Take the time to visualize yourself in threatening situations and determine how you would react, assess and protect yourself from danger. By mentally visualizing different scenarios you will develop a strong set of awareness skills and leave little to chance if ever confronted by a violent threat or attack.
9. Intuition. Much is written about following your gut instinct and as much has been written about how we ignore its signals. We have all experienced a visceral reaction to situations where things just didn't add up and signified some type of threat or danger. Please pay attention to these feelings or reactions -- they will alert you, and if you listen, help to protect you. Adhering to these warning signs can obviously be applied to physical threats, but can also act to warn you about people with questionable integrity.
Again, I want to reiterate that situational awareness is one of the major keys to keeping yourself safe. I always say that 90 percent of the threats and attacks you could potentially face are preventable. If you consciously make the decision to adhere to these concepts you are well on your way to living a safe life!
We should not walk through life in a state of paranoia, but it is important to cultivate a strong sense of Situational Awareness. In order to facilitate the experience of safety and peace for both ourselves and those around us, we cannot become oblivious to our surroundings whenever we are in public (e.g.: by focusing too intently on smartphones, televisions, or other things that distract us from what is going on). Be present and make it a habit to scan the environments that you are in.
Situational Awareness also occurs before we go somewhere. For example, if we need to travel, then we should get to know the areas thoroughly beforehand. Where are the hospitals, police stations, and other organizations that are intended to serve the public located? And further, are they reliable?
Websites like City-Data, HouseCreep, and Broadcastify actually let us look up things like crime rate statistics for a given area, find the locations of buildings that were once drug dens, and listen to live police radio feeds. This kind of research might seem strange, but it can help us to get an idea of how safe a neighborhood is before we ever decide to enter it.
In some ways, Situational Awareness is akin to what is known as "street smarts". We might be used to picking up on these signals if we've grown up in circumstances where our survival depends upon it. I will quote an explanation that I once gave to a dear friend of mine:
"Street smarts" plays down the appearance of "wealth". Unless you want to get mugged, don't walk around in the "ghetto" with a Rolex on. Don't stare, or people will take that as a challenge and try to beat you up. Don't wear clothing all of a single color or you will be mistaken for a "gang member" and end up dead if you cross the "wrong" street. You learn pretty quickly what to avoid when your life is at stake.
Sometimes it is best to avoid locations because of the events that are likely to occur there. That does not make someone a "coward". Putting ourselves in unnecessary danger is foolish, not brave. For example, an alleyway is probably not the safest place to be at midnight. While it might seem unreasonable to some, that would also include places like bars. Alcohol and drug use inhibit awareness.
To reiterate, Situational Awareness is not only about our external surroundings, but also our internal responses to situations. As Avital points out above, we should listen carefully to what we are feeling and how it relates to what we are sensing. This kind of intuition can help us to recognize and avoid things like abusive relationships, so long as we do not mistake fear for "excitement". It cannot be emphasized enough that it is important that we truly get to know the character and histories of the people around us. For example, a large number of sexual assaults are not carried out by "complete strangers", but by acquaintances. Are they safe to be alone with, to accept an open drink from, to get a ride from, etc.? How do you know?
Some self-defense systems do not account for how our bodies respond to unexpected dangers. If we suddenly encounter a situation that rapidly fills us with immense fear and acute stress (like a person screaming and rushing at us with a knife), how will we react? It can be hard to gauge if we've never experienced something like that before. We do not want to freeze up when it is critical for us to act! It doesn't matter how much we know about self-defense if we cannot put it into action when it counts. The video Losing More Than a Fight with Tony Blauer explains this concept well. [It also gives a nice demonstration of how self-defense concepts can be naturally integrated into simple body movements, like push-ups.]
Many self-defense systems try to condition the body so that a series of movements can be done instantaneously and without thinking, like a reflex. If a person's mind goes blank after being punched in the face, they probably aren't going to remember a bunch of sophisticated moves. Likewise, one has to have realistic expectations about their own capabilities. If we haven't had a consistent amount of personal fitness, then we are probably not going to suddenly be able to move quickly enough to dodge a blow or hit with power.
However, preparation includes more than just training the body. We should also learn how to manage our own emotions and how to "de-escalate", easing tension through conversation. This can be done with Verbal Judo and other communication techniques.
What are we going to do when an attacker is bigger, stronger, faster, and/or more well-trained than we might be at that moment? Again, avoid situations that would put you in danger if you can help it, and de-escalate whenever possible. Do not let pride get you into arguments. Keep your composure.
Recognizing When Violence is Imminent
It should go without saying that sparring for fun (e.g.: "play fighting" with a group of friends or within the context of a competitive sport) is radically different from a violent assault. How quickly can you "size up" the actual danger of a situation and know when it is justified to respond in some way?
As part of his training of the military and police, Chase Hughes came up with an interesting breakdown of the thought processes of someone about to commit an act of violence and how it affects their body language. He refers to it as The COPE Model:
You do not have to understand body language well to be able to recognize these kinds of signals. For example:
• Are they making an angry expression (e.g.: brow furrowed, jaw clenched, etc.)?
• Are they raising their voice or breathing heavily?
• Are they balling their hands into fists?
• Are they subtly cocking their arm back in preparation to strike?
• Are they reaching under their shirt into their waistband or a pocket in order to grab a weapon?
...and so on.
Even if some of these signals might be subtle, there is usually some type of forewarning that occurs. A person might walk right into danger because they are not aware of what is happening around them (e.g.: by using their peripheral vision to see off to their sides, by looking up ahead in the direction that they are walking, by listening carefully and taking notice of shouting or banging occurring off in the distance, etc.). Or a person might turn away from someone who is angry and end up getting attacked while they aren't looking.
Life or Death?
If it truly is a "life or death" situation, do NOT hesitate to immediately meet the attacker at an equivalent level of aggression. In other words, we should not be thinking about "fighting fair" if we are literally about to be murdered. In some situations, one may even have to go directly for the most vulnerable areas with the most force that they possibly can (e.g.: eye gouges, punches to the throat, kicks to the genitals, foot stomping, biting, scratching, etc.). The aim is to survive long enough to escape to safety. Again, do NOT freeze up!
However, do not keep attacking if someone is already completely incapacitated. It is no longer self-defense at that point and any vengeful blows will most likely count against you should the police and courts get involved. Remove any weapons from their person so that they cannot use them should they get the chance. If the area is safe after that, call the police, emergency medical services, and any other people that you need to. Patiently wait for them to arrive.
Now, let's look at some more specific methods for fighting in self-defense...
Technique and Body Mechanics
While technique is useful, its use is variable. To put it another way, not all things can be applied to all circumstances. Magnus Midtbø's video on the test given to the Norwegian Armed Forces explains some useful principles of hand-to-hand combat:
• How one will strike depends on the situation. For example, open palm strikes keep one from breaking their knuckles on a helmet.
• Always keep your hands up to protect your head, but do not block your own field of vision.
• Keep your feet in contact with the ground. Do not flail around or lift up the back foot when hitting.
• Do not overextend the elbow. If you have to reach a little farther, then use a front kick or a side kick.
• Be mindful of what part of the leg you are kicking with and where you are hitting so that you do not break your shin.
...and so on.
Notice how much of this has to do with body mechanics. By "body mechanics" we mean how we can hold and move our bodies, especially if we are trying to prevent injury. To gain an awareness of it, we can think about how our joints move, where we are bearing down our weight as we stand, and so on. All of these things are connected together (e.g.: in a "kinetic chain").
Generally, a lot of what comes naturally to people when fighting is similar to what is done within Boxing and Wrestling. Let's look at some fundamentals from each of these systems...
It is important to learn how to properly throw a punch. This includes:
• Standing in the correct stance with the feet around a shoulder width apart, knees slightly bent, body turned at an angle, arms up, and elbows in
• Making a fist correctly with the thumb applying pressure to the outside of the fingers as they are rolled up so that the wrist is properly supported
• Making sure that your arm lines up properly and turning your fist as it extends with a snap of the shoulder
• Generating power by rotating your hip and putting your body weight behind your arm
• Hitting your target with the first two knuckles (of the index and middle fingers) so that you don't break your hand
• Staying relaxed and breathing properly throughout, instead of tightening up and holding your breath
Notice how it involves the entire body and how all of the details interconnect into one fluid motion, like the crack of a whip. Keep in mind that a lot of effort does not necessarily mean a lot of power though! Likewise, something doesn't have to look fancy in order to be effective.
Learning how to block, evade, and safely absorb punches is just as important. This includes:
• Understanding how different types of strikes require different distances from a target
• Preparing the body to take a punch so that you are not caught off guard when it happens
• Using head movement and footwork to dodge blows (like the "bob and weave" and "the slip")
• Staying aware so that you do not become a victim of a "sucker punch"
• How blocking can often lead to "countering" (i.e.: an opening that allows one to hit back)
...and so on.
As for kicks, it is best to keep it simple. Ryan and Raul of Simple Self Defense give an amusing explanation as to why this is important and some demonstrations of how to do it. Again, something doesn't have to seem impressive to work well and things that are overly complex can be easily forgotten under stress. Kicks are useful for creating distance by pushing away at the abdomen/chest, or for stopping an advancing attacker by targeting vulnerable spots like the ankles, shins, and knees.
Since people have to be in close proximity to one another in order to hit each other, they might end up "in the clinch". Clinch fighting is when two people are trying to hold the other in place instead of hitting. If they can get a good grip, one might try to throw or slam the other. Someone might also try to grab the other person's legs and trip them in order to take them down to the ground.
Being on the ground can be a dangerous situation, even if we are not being slammed onto it first. We do not want to be in a position where we are being pinned down by someone's entire body weight, where we have to try to escape a choke hold, or where we might be kicked and stomped on by another person if we are attacked by a group.
Whether standing or on the ground, this use of grabbing, holding, etc. is known as "grappling". Whoever is in control has the "dominant position". The key is to do whatever one can to keep within that dominant position. Some things that should immediately come to mind are:
• What points can be grabbed and held in order to minimize another's movement? These are usually a joint or flexible part of the body (e.g.: the wrist, waist, shoulder, neck, etc.).
• Can they be unbalanced in some way so that you can bring them down to the ground? Get a good grip, push or pull in the direction where they are most vulnerable, and then put your weight into it. Be cautious with "leg sweeps" (e.g.: kicking out your leg in order to trip them). Because we have to stand on one leg to do any sort of kick, we must always avoid becoming unbalanced and falling.
• If we are unfortunate enough to be the one that is being grabbed, how can we break the grip and regain the dominant position?
Stay Safe Martial Arts has a lot of insightful videos about grappling for self-defense.
Again, we will have to assess in the moment what will be the appropriate action to take. Our thought process might unfold something like a flow chart...
Dealing With Weapons
Situational Awareness includes looking for anything that can serve as an "improvised weapon" (e.g.: sticks, glass bottles, etc.). That means literally anything that can be used to hit or stab with, or that can launch a projectile of some sort, even if it wouldn't normally be used for that purpose. Different environments have different types of items throughout (e.g.: a kitchen might contain a knife or heavy pan, whereas a garage might have a screwdriver or heavy wrench). Only fight someone with a weapon when you have absolutely no alternative. If you are unarmed, there are really only two options based on the type of weapon involved and one's distance from the attacker:
• Obviously we are not going to be able to outrun a bullet from a gun, but if it is a blunt object or knife, we can immediately put distance between ourselves and the weapon. Quickly put up an obstacle or an item that can act as a shield if you can.
• If you are in close proximity, try to gain immediate control of the weapon hand (e.g.: by grabbing the wrist and pushing the weapon into their body and away from you). That approach is applicable to most weapons, so long as the dangerous part (e.g.: the barrel of the gun or the edge of the blade) is towards them and not you.
From that point on, it is a matter of using the other aspects of fighting outlined above to either escape to safety or to disarm the threat. Again, be careful with advice. There seems to be a lot of very unrealistic "disarming techniques" that are more likely to get one shot or stabbed than anything else.
Overcoming Violence
We should learn self-defense with the prayer that we never have to use it, but with enough care that we are fully prepared to apply it with discernment whenever needed. It cannot be repeated enough that self-defense is always the protective use of force, never an act of aggression. Likewise, protection is often an act of self-sacrifice, of putting oneself between the innocent and a source of danger. It requires real courage, not bravado. It is completely different from entertaining action film fantasies, deriving pleasure from focusing on violence, or trying to feel "powerful" by harming others. Trying to hurt others because one believes that they are "strong" is actually a weakness that arises from a sense of insecurity. Those who are strong do not need to "prove it", and further, they apply their strength towards helping others.
Sometimes people turn to violence as a "last resort", as a desperate cry for attention or help when it seems that no other options are available to them. It is important to structure society to meet people's needs without creating conditions that lead to violence. Each of us contributes to that by what we choose to do. Does each of our actions create peace and facilitate safety, or do they undermine it? In whatever environment that we find ourselves, we should always aim for the former and try to fix the latter. Everyone's lives, including our own, will be better for it.
Stay safe out there. ♥
