Healthy Relationships |
Unhealthy Relationships |
Respect: Each person values who the other person is, understands the other person's boundaries, and values their beliefs and opinions. |
Disrespect: Your partner makes fun of your opinions and interests, or purposely destroys something that is important to you. |
Trust: Partners trust each other and are comfortable doing things separately and respecting each other's privacy online. |
Jealousy: Everyone can experience jealousy, though it becomes unhealthy when someone tries to control you because of it. |
Honesty: Being truthful and open with your partner and being able to talk together about what you both want without fearing the response or if you'll be judged. |
Betrayal: When your partner is deceitful, hides important things from you, or threatens to make your private matters public in order to control you. |
Individuality: Neither partner compromises who they are, and each has their own identity, with space and freedom in the relationship. |
Control: When your partner makes all the decisions and tells you want to do, what to wear, and who to spend time with. They may also be 'in charge' of all the finances and insist that you account for all of the money that you have spent, or force you to hand over any money you have to them. They may also try to isolate you from friends and family. |
Equality: You and your partner put equal effort into the relationship and make decisions together as opposed to one person calling all of the shots. |
Manipulation: One partner influences the other without them realizing it. This can include ignoring you until they get their own way, making you feel guilty or responsible for their actions, making you feel like everything is your fault, threatening to hurt themselves or others if you don't do as they say or stay with them. They may also use gifts and 'apologies' to influence your decisions. |
Taking Responsibility: You and your partner are both responsible for your own actions and words. You both avoid putting blame on each other and own up when you do something wrong. You both avoid taking things out on each other when you're upset and both try to make positive changes to better your relationship. |
Deflecting Responsibility: Your partner makes excuses for their behavior, blaming you, other people, or past experiences for their actions. They may use alcohol or drugs as an excuse, or use any mental issues or past experiences (like a cheating ex or divorced parents) as a reason for unhealthy behavior. |
Healthy Sexual Relationship: A sexual relationship that both are comfortable with, and neither partner feels pressured or forced to engage in sexual activity that is outside their comfort zone or without consent. |
Sexual Violence: One partner pressures or forces the other into sexual activity against their will or without consent. |
Non-Violent Relationship: No physical violence is used by either partner; feeling a sense of care and concern from your partner, knowing that they will be there to support you. |
Physical Violence: When one partner intentionally uses physical force against the other, as a means of controlling the other partner. This includes shaking, slapping, pushing, biting, punching, scratching, trying to choke or strangle, hitting with household objects, using weapons, and physical restraint (e.g.: pinning you against a wall). |
Inclusion: Both partners encourage each other to socialize and keep in touch with friends and family. |
Isolation: Keeping you away from friends, family, or other people by insisting you choose your partner over them. |
Protection and Loyalty: When your partner is reliable and you feel confident that they have your back, and are respectful and faithful, sticking up for you and keeping your secrets safe. |
Sabotage: Purposely ruining your reputation, achievements or success by making you miss work, talking about you behind your back or starting rumors, and threatening to share private information about you. |
Encouragement: Your partner supports you to do things that you want to do, and backs your decisions. |
Belittling: Making you feel bad about yourself - calling you names, making rude remarks about your friends and family or what you look like, and making fun of you - even if it is played off as 'just a joke'. |
Self-Confidence: When partners have confidence in themselves, they are calm and comfortable enough to allow others to express their opinions without forcing their own opinions on them. |
Intimidation: When a partner tries to control aspects of your life by making you feel fearful or timid. This may include threatened or actual violence. |